Another school year is steadily approaching so I wanted to take some time to write post dedicated to the women of this group who have decided to go forth and spend the next four/three/two/one years of their life with a boyfriend/fiancé at VMI. I started this blog awhile ago and while I have't posted in awhile, I felt like this was a topic that I wanted to share with anyone in this group who wanted a long read about surviving the 4 grueling years at VMI. Well mostly grueling for the boys and more fun for us ladies! My VMI journey did not start until my cadet's third class year, although I did know him during his rat/fourth class year. I visited once and my immediate thoughts were that VMI looked like Hogwarts and that my boyfriend was basically being trained to fight dementors (totally kidding). In all seriousness though, VMI is one heck of a ride and if you choose to take that path less traveled, I promise you that it is all worth it.
So, shall we get started?
Like I said, since I did not accompany my boyfriend during rat year I cannot say for sure what it feels like to go through the ratline but being apart of this group for the past 3 and a half years I can say that I have met a lot of girls who have talked to me about rat year and told me stories of their personal endurance which was quite inspiring. First off, you. will. make. it. No, it will not be easy. There will quite possibly be days when you do not talk to your cadet (hello FTX). You won't be able to Skype (unless you have a tender hearted dyke. My boyfriend unfortunately did not.) you will not be able to call/text, and sometimes he is going to be too exhausted to email you back. But guess what? It's okay. This is not the end of the world and it gives you a chance to do things for yourself. I've been told and learned first hand that there is an importance in living your own life away from VMI. Many of you will be in college, some high school but I cannot stress the importance of having time for yourself. The moment you stop stressing about your boyfriend is the moment that you find yourself enjoying your own interests. Join a club, study more, go to the beach, go workout, hang out with your girlfriends, etc… Life does not stop because he is at VMI nor will all your school work so find time to things for yourself. One of the most monumental moments in your cadets life will be breakout, I have learned from other relationships that it is so important to be supportive and be there for him through it all. He may not say it out loud but you will play a major role in his life through this process and even simple "I am so proud of you" email will help him through.
After the ratline, things may seem to get "easier" but your cadet will have to always abide by the rules set forth by VMI. Some may seem extremely silly but they are rules for a reason (like not wearing flip flops on the stoop…. really?) But there are others that will shape your cadet into a man and prepare him for the challenges that will occur in life. Graduating from the Institute is an honor and a privilege. A school that has a foundation built on the honor system and not many colleges will not put such an emphasis on no stealing, cheating, and lying.
One thing that I definitely want to emphasize is the dances - I have said it 100x over but you are a reflection of your cadet. If you decide to wear a hoochie dress then what is that saying about your cadet? While I have never personally seen someone have to leave because of their dress, I do believe that dressing appropriately is important. No, we are not in amish country but think classy! I have found dresses at Ross, Marshalls, TJ Maxx, H&M, mall department stores, local boutiques that all have dresses out around the same time as VMI due to most high school homecomings occurring around that time. Short dresses are mostly reserved for homecoming while longer dresses for MWF. No one will judge you if you decide to wear a long dress at homecoming and vice versa. Just remember that VMI is a prestigious college and you do not want General Peay seeing parts of you that shouldn't be seen! As for ring figure BE PREPARED - get a dress in advance so if you need to make alterations or if something goes poorly you will be ready! My dress zipper broke two days before the dance and while I had it somewhat fixed I was still sewn into my dress by my cadet's sister in the bathroom at VMI! Wear a dress you will be comfortable in because you will be standing in line to place the ring on your cadet for a little bit and afterwards you will be dancing. You have to wear a white dress and there is nothing wrong with wearing off-white, ivory or any of the 1000 shades of white but I prefer just regular white because it matches the cadet's ducks (aka white pants). It will be one of the best nights of your life so soak it up as much as you can!!! As for the tent party, it takes place outside and you will be cold. Wear something comfortable and something you don't mind having beer spilled on. I wore a pair of boots that I shouldn't have and boy did I pay for it.
While the ratline may seem to drag on, 3rd, 2nd, and 1st years will go by in the blink of an eye. I remember by first trip to VMI like it was yesterday and it seems like after that time went by too quickly. Enjoy the time you spend there and make new relationships. From this group, I have met so many phenomenal girls. They continue to be my best friends today even though some of their relationships did not make it out of VMI. I even plan on having some of the girls I met through this group as my bridesmaids one day and it is such a wonderful feeling knowing you can talk to someone about the hardships of VMI. No one will quite understand what is like to go through VMI unless you are the cadets enduring but it is nice to have someone to vent to about distance and not being able to see your boyfriend for a month straight.
I pray that all of you enjoy your experiences and that you will build many relationships. I have met so many amazing parents, girlfriends, cadets, and staff and I cherish each one of those friendships. Enjoy the ride because not many people can say that their boyfriend graduated from Virginia Military Institute.
If you took the time to read this, I appreciate it! Any feedback is welcome (especially from the "seasoned" girlfriends!)
